It’s Monday and that means a weekly dose of Boys World wisdom! This week, all five ladies are clocking in to help fix strained friendships in the age of Covid, lockdown squabbles with a new boyfriend, as well as sharing tips on how you can learn to feel more comfortable in your own skin.
Dear Boys World… My best friend is mad at me because I didn’t celebrate her birthday with her in Manhattan. I told her I couldn’t go because COVID cases are still bad there and I wanted to look out for my family’s health, but she called me a bad friend. She’s still mad at me and we don’t talk as much as we used to – what should I do? – @sikkluvv
The Covid pandemic has been a journey that everyone around us is dealing with—whether it impacted your life in a good way or a bad way. Having friends, family, or relationships that are far away can be very difficult in these times because of safety precautions. If you have a friend who is asking you to fly out to see you and you feel unsafe and don’t want to put your family in an unsafe situation, that friend should be able to understand where you’re coming from. Also, there is always FaceTime and video chat. A true friend cares more about your safety and well-being so they should understand and know you love them. You are not a bad friend for wanting to keep your family and yourself safe. Making decisions like this is a lot more complex now with the pandemic, but that’s no excuse for your friends to degrade you for whatever decision you make. – Queenie
Dear Boys World… I have been in lockdown with my boyfriend for almost 9 months now, but we’ve only officially been together for a year ? What advice do you have for handling arguments in a new relationship? – @galeredemani
Hey, thank you so much for this question!!? Arguments can definitely be healthy in any relationship if you avoid hurting each other. Arguments can simply mean communication and hearing out the other person and how they are feeling. Don’t think of it as an argument and think of it more as a conversation. Having honest real conversations can help you grow as a couple so much!! They’re important in any relationship. Try not to raise your voice at each other and do not name call! A really important way to look at disagreements or issues in a relationship is that both parties are in the wrong in some way or could have done something better.
Obviously, this is not the case for all situations and if you feel a relationship is becoming toxic and unhealthy you should definitely remove yourself from that relationship. You also don’t want to avoid the problem or shrug it away for too long or you can both end up holding resentment towards one another. It’s never good to bottle up your feelings. It is also very important to make sure you both are actively listening to each other instead of just waiting for your turn to speak when communicating. We wish you two the best and please know you are doing great! 9 months in lockdown with somebody can be hard so it’s amazing you two are getting through it together for so long! Love u!!! – Lil and Elana ?
Dear Boys World…I wanted to ask how I can try to feel more comfortable in my own skin? Are there things that each of you have learned that has contributed to how you take care of yourself?
Feeling comfortable in your own skin means, you’re going to have to get uncomfortable first. Let’s say there’s this piece of clothing you’ve been dying to wear but are scared to wear it in public. I challenge you to wear it. Just put it on, and wear it. I remember I ordered this bathing suit that was so pretty to me, but I felt like my body wasn’t good enough for it. Once I decided I was over being mean to myself and wore it, I felt like I was free. Affirmations are also a key part of self-love! Look directly in the mirror and tell yourself things you deserve to hear! Wearing what you want will for sure make you feel comfortable. At first, it can be scary because you don’t know what people will think but at the end of the day, if you do things for YOU, it’ll make you happy. Getting to know yourself on all levels is crucial – if you know yourself on a deeper level, you will become more comfortable and confident over time.
Journaling and meditation will help HEAPS. Spend some time alone. If you’re always with other people, how will you ever be proud of who you are? How will you know the real you? Start diving into your hobbies/interests. Everyone has something special about them and it’s what makes you distinctly unique. By diving into your quirks, you’ll realize how interesting you are and begin to fall in love with who you are. Doing things for you and learning to say no is vital as well. It can feel scary at times but if you put yourself first more often, it’ll teach you your worth, importance, and power. Also, know you don’t owe anyone anything. Take yourself on a date. Treat yourself. You deserve to be pampered. Do things for yourself that make you FEEL good inside and out. Fall in love with YOU! – Liv and Mak
‘Dear Boys World…’ is a regular advice column. Get more advice from the band.