We’ve crossed the halfway mark of 2020, and already the world has thrown us more curveballs than a football metaphor we can’t really make ‘cos we haven’t watched Soccer AM since 2003. We’ve been locked down and we’ve risen up; in seven months, life has changed more than anyone could have imagined – first for the worst, and recently, thanks to some of the largest protests in history, maybe hopefully for the better. It seems inconceivable after such a newsworthy period that the year could get any wilder, but then, at 1.38am, while the UK was busy stumbling home after its first night down the pub in months: “We must now realize the promise of America by trusting God, unifying our vision and building our future. I am running for President of the United States! #2020vision”.
Yep, Kanye’s running for President and, frankly, nobody even has the energy to be surprised anymore.
Of course, this is not the first time that Kanye – or, to give him the full title he decided he wanted to be known as last November, Christian Genius Billionaire Kanye West – has declared his aspirations to relocate to The White House. Back in 2015 at the MTV Video Music Awards, he told the world that 2020 was to be his year. Then nothing really came of it. Now, however, the author of the infamous couplet “Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh?/ Put the pussy in a sarcophagus” is seemingly back in the game and, well, of course that’s how this year ends.
So would President ‘Ye actually be a good thing? Well, he’s professed his support of Trump on more than one occasion: bad. But he surely can’t be more of a menace to society than actual Trump: good. He’s a man famed for making wild declarations and then changing his mind shortly after: bad. But when he’s on point, such as on this week’s drop ‘Wash Us In The Blood’, then he can provide an urgent, important commentary with the best of them: good. It would be a glorious fuck-you to the most racist president in modern history for him to be unceremoniously booted out of office and replaced by a Black successor, but Kanye puts his foot in it so regularly that maybe he’s not exactly the best man for the job.
However, there is one side to ol’ Yeezy’s new plan that we can all agree on: Kim K as the new First Lady would be RESPLENDENT. The outfits! The parties! The resulting series of Keeping Up With The Kardashians! If Kim’s famous bum could break the internet just by holding a champagne glass on a magazine cover, can you even imagine what would happen when Kylie, Kendall and the gang first strut their way into the Oval Office. Iconic.
So yes, maybe it will never happen – reports state that Kanye hasn’t actually registered his name yet, and he’s not exactly got much time to sort his shit out before November’s election. But by this point, nothing would really shock us.
Let’s just hope he doesn’t use ‘Yeezus’ cut ‘I’m in it’, with its charming “put my fist in her like a civil rights sign” as his campaign music, eh?