Billie Eilish can defend Drake texting her but it’s still gross


Thirty-three year old men should not text seventeen year old girls unless they are family or to send an entirely factual update about an event that they are attending with prior approval from their mothers. For example: “Drama class has been pushed back an hour” or “I’m afraid I have trodden on a wasp so I will not be able to run this week’s track and field”. In fact, even then, it’s probably best to just send an email or something. I am trying to think of an exception to this but I can’t. Anything else is just plain creepy. 

This week, Billie Eilish defended the fact that Drake texts her by saying the internet reaction to this was “such a mess”, people are “so sensitive” and “can’t a man be a fan of an artist?” 

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Bilie Eilish

All of the above is very, very true. The internet is a horrible place. Despicable. People are very sensitive and looking to finger point at any opportunity and grown men can of course be fans of artists, both young and old. But do you know what else Drake is a fan of? Teenage girls. And do you know how we know that? Because of this video here where he gets a young girl on stage, makes suggestive comments to her, finds out she’s underage and carries on anyway. 


There was also the very creepy moment when Billie turned eighteen where rather than a classic “HBD red balloon” on her IG, Drake opted for the incredibly creepy “I’ve been waiting”. A joke, perhaps? But a fucking inappropriate one.

I am not here to cancel Drake. There are more important things to spend my time on. But the fact that Billie feels like she has to – at seventeen years old, although undoubtedly wiser than I was at seventeen – defend a grown man, someone she respects, someone older, who she’s a fan of, is just plain sad, really. 

Drake in all likelihood has done absolutely nothing untoward and his texts are innocent and purely showing admiration for Billie’s undeniable talent. But if he really respects her skills as an artist, send her an email with her mum copied in! Reach out to her mum for them all to get together and hang! Get their people to talk so they can arrange a feature! Do not slide into her DMS. Do not text her on her cellphone. Do not do anything that could in any way be perceived as creepy. Just don’t do it. 

You don’t need to be thirty-three to have that much figured out.