Lorde has shared her latest semi-regular missive to her fans, emailing out an update on her life and health, and reflecting on her summer of special shows.
The star explained she is currently still in London, where she’s been living and working since May. “Things feel clear here,” she wrote. “I haven’t seen many friends; mostly. I’m alone with my thoughts. I go swimming, I go to work, I walk home or take the train, I eat in my kitchen, I go to bed thinking about what I’m making. I’m starting to miss my friends and family, like a vitamin I’m deficient in.”
She continued to say that she was “living in heartbreak again” – a feeling that was “different but the same”. Rather than hide from the pain, she said she is finding the “great beauty in moving with it”, even if sometimes she gets “sick of being with myself”. “I eat chocolate to try and manipulate the endorphins, bring back the sweet happiness of Easter morning,” she wrote. “I sit in the time machine and wait for it to move, but it hasn’t been invented yet.”
Lorde’s new Email— Lorde fix 🥀 (@Lorde_fix) September 20, 2023
“I just finished writing you a long letter, catching you up on how I’ve been. It ended neatly, tied with a little bow. I chose my words well, but I didn’t tell the truth. So I’m starting again, gonna type and not look back, and send what comes out” pic.twitter.com/AxulIFSz2B
Lorde also shared some health concerns in the letter, writing that her body is “really inflamed”, and detailing issues with her gut, skin and immune system. While she’s trying to listen to her body and give it what it needs, the process has been hard for her and “has made me fully aware of all the times I ignored it or didn’t give it what it needed, shamed it for a fight or flight response, took a handful of pills and pushed through”.
As well as shouting out new music by Troye Sivan and Kelela, Ella discussed her reason for making her own music: because she needs to. “The songs are spells; a spell to let go of something, a spell to unlock the door,” she explained. “Every time I put something into words just as I see it, set it to the right music, a knot comes loose in me. But it hurts too, confronting the knots.”
You can read Lorde’s email in full in this Twitter thread but be warned: it will put you extremely in your feels. While Ella works on new music and on herself, here’s everything we know about the follow-up to 2021’s ‘Solar Power’.